What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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