What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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