What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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