What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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